Six Sonneted "Little Novels"

    Moby Dick

    In those days priests preached of whales--devils
    they called them--their tiny eyes and sure-thing wings.
    Ahab talked to the whale's severed head, sphinx-
    like and dumb as sand, said, "Tell me the secrets
    of underwater breathing and small-boned fish."
    Moby Dick's ear was a mere pin-prick, his heart
    unreachable under all that flesh. Shark-
    riddled waters and mermaid-lush islands
    dotted Ahab's maps, inspiring lust
    and lunar dreaming. The crew liked to sing rounds
    that sounded lovely when the whales joined.
    Even the harpooners swooned, teary-eyed,
    their hands trembling like fish before they died.
    When they hit the high notes--chords of angels.

    Moby Dick 2

    Fleece gave a sermon to the sharks. He said
    the only difference between angels and sharks
    was the way they circled blood from afar--
    clockwise or not--and their number of teeth.
    Stubbs and Starbuck loved a good whale steak, each
    licking lips and picking whiskers to the tune
    of "Under the Boardwalk." Strange rescues
    of cabin boys and mermen incited
    even the Christians on board. Delighted
    heathens told tales of a temperate hell
    while angel-sharks flew through the air, no bells
    or trumpets to mark their coming. Ishmael
    was glad to find the meaning of evil--
    what a waste of knowledge when you're dead!

    For Whom the Bell Tolls

    The code hero is afraid of the dark
    but loves a good war, blowing up a bridge,
    making love all night to avoid the frig-
    id sting of heroism. When Pilar
    missed Valencia, Pablo told her:
    "Honey, don't my horses mean anything?"
    Poor Pablo, capitalist in the making,
    such a ragged soldier, a non-gypsy.
    The difference between murder and killing
    is the difference between coffee and tea,
    ole! When Pilar saw Jordon's lifeline bleed
    into unlucky pores, she held her tongue.
    The bridge blew up--kapow--each soft lung
    full of gun powder, each bruised cough a spark.

    For Whom the Bell Tolls 2

    Robert Jordan changed his mind when he met
    Maria. He thought: "Hey, what the fuck,
    I'm an American! I love to buck
    the system, parrot war slogans, defy
    the cynics who can't die, won't die, but die
    anyway, their eyes rolling in death."
    Maria hated bull-fights. Even the best
    warriors were cowards in her eyes, the least
    revered. Seventy-two hours before his
    end, our hero met his true love. Snow in May
    is uncommon, even in Hemingway.
    Envision your footprints, your enemy
    following them to cave and aerie,
    sparing your life at the last minute.

    Pride and Prejudice

    Lydia wanted sex, Charlotte wanted cash.
    Elizabeth wanted a husband who flew
    like a UN delegate to rescue
    the needy yet rolled in gold at the same time.
    Fitzwilliam Darcy thought it a crime
    Elizabeth's family burped at the table
    and broke crystal with their shrill decibels
    and seedy salutations. Jane and Liz
    dreamt of nineteenth century picket fences,
    rough sketches of husbands sitting in comfy chairs,
    snoring, debating, proud and prejudiced. Fair
    maids were men's due and prey, pretty misses
    who got spices just right. The marriage system
    made sense even as it wobbled and crashed.

    Pride and Prejudice 2

    Mary Bennet's fingers on ivory
    were like her mother's tongue, socially
    sloppy and stupid. Darcy boastfully
    said his mother spoke French and dressed in satin,
    but she'd died when he was three. Jane Austen
    died at forty-two: zenith of her power.
    "Janeites" read too much into it, skewered
    Austen's books in support of snobbery
    and self-righteousness, sainthood, and free
    condoms (whoops, wrong nineties). Her heroine
    breathed irony, miscommunication
    at parties. Liz chewed with her mouth closed
    when everything in her screamed to open
    wide and squeeze mashed potatoes through her teeth.

    Animal Farm

    Old Major (Karl Marx) taught pigs to read
    and organize. Snowball's (Trotsky's) Windmill
    flourished under Napoleon's (Stalin's)
    two-legged rule, pig rhetoric, the blight
    of the porcine underclass. Boars on hind
    legs carried placards that read, "Power to
    Pig/Men!" They buried hams and eggshells, moved
    the furniture around for their convenience.
    Even donkey skeptics stopped using past tense
    and folded themselves into soft couches,
    forgetting the first commandment which said:
    "Animals are forbidden to sleep in beds."
    Pillowcases and sheets kept in the shed
    were burned in that final Battle of Greed.

    Animal Farm 2

    Napoleon took a bunch of puppies
    and raised them to be his henchmen, spoiled
    all the fun. The revolution boiled
    under everyone's hide until the pigs
    dug up Old Major's skull and made a big
    deal out of the former leader's commandments.
    Whips of dystopia, disenchantment
    ruined the farm and Boxer became glue,
    all because of hunger, which only proves
    how important it is for animals
    to never wear stripes or badges--criminals
    and soldiers look alike from behind.
    Too bad for the hens and sheep, ultra-kind
    barnyarders who never did get lucky.

    The Great Gatsby

    Daisy floated, complacent as face cream,
    above Myrtle's home, the valley of ashes.
    "My husband's a mechanic, that's a fact,"
    Myrtle said, her white powder seeping
    into the little greedy lines peeping
    out of eyes and mouth. Her lover dogged her,
    her husband left greasy hand prints everywhere.
    Her only way up was through a man.
    Nick Carraway was still alive at the end
    of all that death, thumbing back to the Great Lakes
    where savoir-faire was no cause for debate,
    where nouveau riches grew bored with the prairies,
    jet-skied down the mighty Mississippi,
    Mercedied home where no buffalo roamed free.


    The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

    Tom successfully avoided suicide
    by being naughty, proving the theory
    that boys who fake their own deaths and taunt dreary
    teachers wind up with the niftiest girls--
    like Becky Thatcher with her smart short curls,
    cave-courage, and propensity for bullies.
    Her pantalettes were embroidered with lilies,
    but don't let that fool you--she loved adventure.
    In fact, The Adventures of Becky Thatcher
    was conceived by Twain's sweetheart, Laura Hawkins.
    Like L.H., Becky loved flirting, talking
    to Huck or Joe when Tom wasn't behaving--
    which only proves that a doodlebug dangling
    from a cave's mouth means there's a witch inside.

    The Adventures of Tom Sawyer 2

    Tom's famous white-washing-the-fence scam
    enabled the small infidel to trade
    apples for heaven, doughnuts for good grades
    in school. Work was what Tom had to do. Play
    was flipping a pinch bug in church, a game
    of pirates that lasted so long the whole town
    had picked out his pint-sized casket, bemoaning
    how some day he could have been president
    of IBM or an excellent
    writer of kid's fiction like Mark Twain--
    who stopped writing before Tom became
    a crafty politician or soldier
    of fortune. In the novel, Tom preferred
    the role of baby maker, family man.


    Contents

    		 



     Denise
     Duhamel

     and

     Maureen
     Seaton